Breaking the Cycle of Intergenerational Trauma: Understanding the Impact of Attachment
Children who are raised with “good enough” responsiveness from their primary caregiver become adults with a secure attachment style who are able to self regulate, engage in meaningful connections and relationships with others, have healthy boundaries, and a healthy relationship to their own needs.
When key processes are missing in the parent-child relationship (attunement, safety, mirroring, holding, containment, mentalizing, co-regulation, repair, etc.), children become insecurely attached and grow into adults with complications in their ability to self regulate, navigate relationships, or properly identify their own needs and boundaries.
A secure attachment style includes a strong sense of self, empathy for self and others, emotional self regulation, and an internal working model that we use as a pattern to navigate the world and all of our future relationships.
Our attachment style, while initially formed in childhood, becomes a lifelong template for all of our future adult relationships. In this course we will work with 12 implicit messages to explore strengthening our inner-relationships to ourselves in order to prepare to have strong and healthy relationships with others. Moving toward secure attachment at any age will result in stronger and healthier relationships with self, friends, partners, children, and others.
Jennifer Andi is a certified Integral Coach® specializing in secure attachment, adult vertical development, Enneagram, emotional self regulation, ACA Inner Child Reparenting, and intergenerational trauma.
We will meet for three weekly live course sessions on Zoom on Mondays from 5:30-7:30 pm Pacific Time:
August 12, 2024
August 19, 2024
August 26, 2024
Please reach us at jen@ni2c.org if you cannot find an answer to your question.
We will work with implicit messages that are essential for secure attachment. We will explore through breakout rooms and group discussions multiple ways to internalize and embody each message, so that we can express them through verbal and nonverbal communication, as well as actions, behaviors, and attitudes.
These are the messages that we need to feel and internalize for healthy attachment. They might be messages that we heard out loud, but hearing them isn't enough (they differ from affirmations in that way). These implicit messages need to be felt and corroborated by our loved one's actions. One message for example is: "Your needs are important to me" - in order for this message to be received we need to hear it AND see it demonstrated in a tangible way. In "Moving Toward Secure Attachment" we will work with all twelve messages and break them down into multiple perspectives, embody them so that we can enable our actions to match the words, and make them actionable through our every day lives.
Participants will be invited into guided inquiries and reflections. We will engage in small group breakout discussions for a higher level of engagement and involvement in the material. We will play with guided sensing and meditations to bring the material to life in a way that encourages us to embody the attachment messages. We will have group discussions and Q&A. We will have optional homework between sessions.
Our first experiences of developing attachment with our primary caregivers occur in the first two years of life. But that does not mean that this material is only for those parenting infants and toddlers. The practical strategies we will discuss will benefit school age children, teens, adult children, and inner children as well.
We continue to use the internal working model that results from our secure or insecure attachment style throughout our lifespan - and it is never too late to repair insecure attachment and move toward a more secure attachment style.
This course is really appropriate for anyone who has a parent, or is a parent - and anyone who wants to improve their quality of life and relationships by developing a healthy sense of self; working with underlying beliefs that support growth, connection, love and safety; healing unresolved pain from childhood, or breaking cycles of insecure attachment that have been passed down for generations.
It is never too late to develop secure attachment, and what we will learn in this course can be applied to adulting, parenting, relating with others, or inner-work at any age.
First of all, please know that if you have insecure attachment, you are not alone! 40% of adults in the United States have insecure attachment. Also know that having insecure attachment does not mean you didn't have loving parents, (or that you aren't a loving parent yourself) - it just means you have difficulty with emotional regulation, feel uncomfortable in the world or in connection with others, have a problematic relationship to your own or others needs, or you find yourself easily stressed by relationship issues.
The good news is that those of us who grew up with an insecure attachment style can achieve "earned secure" attachment in adulthood with the help of a securely-attached trusted other, and practices designed to provide the missing components from our primary relationships. In the 3-week live virtual course "Repairing Childhood Wounds: Moving Toward Secure Attachment" we will work with twelve implicit messages all children need to receive to become securely attached and learn to provide this messaging for our own inner-child, as well as children we are parenting.
Cancellations require 48 hours notice before the course begins.
Apply for a scholarship by filling out the application at the bottom of the page (near the countdown). Limited need-based scholarships are available while funds last.
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